Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Aww Memories...

So, with Christmas just around the corner I've been thinking about when my sister and I were little and the lengths we would go to just to catch a peek at our presents. The older we got, the more creative we got too. I didn't earn the nickname Mrs. Kravitz for nothin folks!! In no particular order, here are some of our better ploys...

The rookie - trying to sneak in our parents closet where we knew the goods were. Got caught, probably flicked in the head

Getting a bit better, but not much - Noticing that our parents came home with a huge brown box, we waited until our parents were sleeping off the previous nights bender, did the army crawl into their bedroom, peeked under the blanket covering the huge brown box and tried to make a mental tally of what the contents were. Then we went into my room and made letters to Santa listing the entire box's contents. Unfortunately, we couldn't really see what was in there very good and we also didn't know whose crap was whose.

The professional - This one is bad. This one is probably one of the many reasons why I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell. Here goes. One time I pretended to be sick so I could stay home from school. I should probably mention that I might have been a freshman in high school. (remember I warned you that this one was bad). Ok, so I stay home from school by myself and proceeded to unwrap all of my presents so I could check them out before hand and then I wrapped them back up. I know, I'm rotten ain't I?? If it's any consulation, that was the shittiest Christmas I remember having. It was a lot of work to act genuinely suprised at receiving a John Cougar cassette tape and a gift box of socks, let me tell ya!!

After that we sorta stopped with the whole peeking before Christmas coupe. It wasn't worth it...if I'm going to get a John Cougar cassette as a gift then dammit I want to be suprised!!

My eyes, My burns

So, I'm hopping you haven't eaten yet. Or drinking anything. Or go farther than this sentence. Ok, I warned ya. I've recently discovered the website people of walmart and, well, boy-oh-boy, there are some freaks with a capital FREAKS that are unlucky enough to have their pic snapped in that joint. But, out of all of the crazy crap that I've seen on that site, this one takes the cake...without further ado...

Nice back rack right??

You're welcome. ;) Excuse me, I need to go rinse the vomit taste out of my mouth.