Sunday, February 14, 2010

Why it's pretty much impossible to sexually harass me.

Ok, so should I start w/an apology for being absent since before Christmas or just get right to it? Yeah, that's what I thought....
So my husband and I were driving to the store yesterday when we past the Taco Bell that I used to frequent when I was a teenager. Seeing that Taco Bell reminded me of a funny ass thing that happened to me and my two friends back in the day. Let me set it up for you...
The year was 1992 and I was probably dressed as one of my heroes:

Brenda NOT Brandon got it??

Taco Bell was (and still is) the #1 choice for broke ass teens to get their grub on...especially if they'd had a *ahem* "contact high". So on this particular day in 1992 my friends and I find ourselves enjoying ourselves over some Nacho Bellgrandes and Mt. Dew when something caught my attention from the corner of my eye. Here is an artists rendering of the layout of Taco Bell on this particular day:

Ok, so I look over to see what it was that caught my attention and almost choked on my nacho. Dude was, what do the kids call it these days....spanking his monkey!!

I turned back to my girls who hadn't noticed anything and I was sitting there trying to play it off that I seriously did not just see some creepy ass mofo shining his jewels. After a minute or two I couldn't take it anymore and I laughing so hard I was almost crying. I jumped up, ran over to the other side of the wall where monkey spanker was sitting and tried to mime to my friends what was going on. While whisper yelling to them, "HEY, THAT DUDE OVER THERE IS SPANKING HIS MONKEY" while still laughing my ass off. Here is another artists rendering of what actions I took:

I then ran out of the restaurant, sat in my car and tried to contain myself. Shortly after the man walked out of Taco Bell and left and then my girls came out wondering just what the hell was wrong with me.

Instead of being grossed out or freaked out, I thought it was kinda funny. I was probably stoned at the time so everything was funny but still. I don't think it's possible for me to be sexually harassed. I'm pretty sure I would embarrass the harasser much more than they could ever freak me out.

Happy Valentines Day everyone!!


  1. Contact high...

    I bet he was just brushing crumbs from Chino's and your deranged mind mistook it for wanking!


  2. Yeah (to Paul) a lot of crumbs.

    I am so glad you're "back" though who knows the next time we will hear from you.


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