Sunday, April 26, 2009

Why I'm pretty sure I'm a 14 year old boy stuck in a 35 year old broad's body

"Mom, you're a GIANT child, ya know that dontcha?" Those are the words that came from my 12 year olds mouth not too long ago. I'm not even sure what exactly prompted that exclamation, but as I started to protest, I stopped. Know why? It's true. I own it. I guess I could be called worse (and have). I can't help it. I have the sense of humor of a 14 year old boy. I find farts way funnier than I should. I appreciate a good "pull my finger" gag. Burps are given a score of 1-10 in my house. Here are just a few of the many reasons I should, for all intents and purposes, be a 14 year old boy:
1. I LOVE, LOVE, LOOOOOVVVVVEEEE Guitar Hero. My dad asked me what to get the kids for Christmas and I told him Guitar Hero. Not necessarily because my kids actually wanted it. I did. I already know that I'm going to hell, so no need to remind me. For those of you not familiar with mini-Edward, here he is accompaning my GH styilings with a little piano backup. Ain't he sweet? Notice how I'm rocking out lefty style...Lefties represent!

2. I'm awesome. Yep, I went there. That picture you see above is the Treasurer of my kids elementary school PTC (kinda like a PTA but not). I can rock it and still support my school.

3. Kenny-Fuckin-Powers is the SHIT. If you don't know who I'm talkin 'bout, get HBO STAT.

4. I've watched Family Guy religiously since it first aired. Actually, we watch it as a family too. My kids can re-enact whole episodes verbatim. Some might frown on that, but tuff. My kids are friggen awesome kids who excel in school, have awesome manners and have been told by total strangers in restraunts that they are angels. We love Family Guy, it's funny, so there!

5. Grandma's Boy is one of the funniest muther-freakin movies I've ever seen. Dante and the monkey made me cry laughing. And don't forget about Shirley Jones and the chick from Everybody Loves Raymond!!

6. Adam Sandler. Happy Gilmore, The Wedding Singer, Piece of Shit Car and my fave...Sloppy Joes, Sloppy, Sloppy Joes...

7. Beavis and Butthead rocked my world back in the 90's. I saw an episode at a film festival way before they were on MTV. Holy crap my friends and I used to load the bowl and die laughing while watching that and MST3K (remember that one?).

I'm sure I could think of probably a billion more reasons why I'm pretty sure I'm a 14 year old boy, but I gotta pee and I'm dying to see the new episode of Family Guy...

Oh yea, I have a question for ya, Do you like fishsticks?


  1. LMAO So I guess I'm a 14 year old boy too. I LOVE Adam Sandler and Grandma's Boy. And sadly me and hubby own all of Beavis and Butthead on DVD. And man Edward must have been playing at vampire speed cuz he was so blurry. I totally kick ass at Rock Band AND Guitar Hero. Now if I only had a mike stand I could be a complete band. My fam SUCKS! They bring me down. I need to play AND sing at the same time. I got skillz!!

  2. Last nights new family guy was AWESOME! Love that show. The fiance and I probaly quote something from that show 3 times a day, everyday!

  3. I LOVE Guitar Hero. Well, technically it's Rock Band but whatever. I can only play the guitar - my friends won't let me play the drums because I suck so badly at it. But GH - I'll play until tears are streaming down my cheeks and I look like I was doing bong hits because my eyes are so red from not blinking.

    Oh, and every time ML lets a fart rip I call back 'I love you too!' (If he knew I just disclosed that he'd probably smother me with a pillow).

  4. Alas I haven't yet tried to play the drums, but I'm sure i'll suck so bad that it would require a blog post about me sucking so bad!!

    JJ - I thought I was the only one who doesn't blink when playing!! My eyes burn so bad after I'm done and my hand is all curled up ala Costanza when he wasn't "master of his domain". LOL

    Tiffany - Yes, Edward was playing at warp-Vamp speed, he had to keep up with ME this time!

    Sarie - Last nights FG was fricken hi-larious! We are always quoting that show. My fave is Bruce the Performance Artist - "guess who met somebody today...met him at the bookstore...likes the same type of literature as me...and oooohhh, the journey begins again!!" Oh yeah, and Greased Up Deaf Guy - "Don't judge me, I used to be a lawyer"...LMAO

  5. Well. Firstly I'm a little tipsy. So everything I'm about to say will probably make no sense. And since I lost my glasses I am going to skip all these wonderful comments and say with all the love in my heart "THE FAMILY GUY FREAKING ROCKS!!!!!" Oh & Mr. Cullen rocking the piano... yep. I love your blog.:) I'm so witty clever aren't I? I'm gonna blame it on the hef, stop babbling & read some more of your lovely blog. Ain't nothing wrong with being a 14 year old boy. So I shall not be judging ye.


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